I awokened from my slab late one night

When my eyes befell an eerie sight

My creator from his chair did rise

And suddenly to my surprise

 

He kicked out his feet and shook out his hands

Pointed straight at his creature with a wink most grand

He said "Now is the time to pump up the jam!"

He got into position, the music started, aaaaaand

 

He did the mash!

He did the human mash

The human mash!

It was a schoolyard smash

He did the mash!

It caught on in a flash

The human mash!

He did the human mash

 

The crowd gathered round in no time at all

They were whipping and nae nae'ing inside of the hall

It was a flash dance then a freeze dance then they got in a line

And before you could say "skibidi," they did the electric slide

 

Hands were pointing, jiving, and all that hokey pokey

Booties bumped and humped, they even rode the pony

Arms became letters for YMCA and HOTTOGO

They did the human mash but also mashed potato

 

It was the mash!

They did the human mash

The human mash!

It was a schoolyard smash

They did the mash!

It caught on in a flash

The human mash!

They did the human mash

 

Twista did the twist, Steve Martin did the jerk

Single ladies of all shapes showed em how to twerk

Arnold did the running man, Thom Yorke did the creep

Joe Biden shaked that laffy taffy then went to sleep

 

The victims of Jones Town hit the dance floor

H G Wells taught everyone to do the time warp

Amelia Earhart crowd surfed and was seen no more

They did the roof's on fire led by Al Gore

 

Rick Ross did the floss, Akon hit the Quan

Cleopatra showed the room to walk like an Egyptian

Michael j fox did the shake like a frickin conniption

While John Henry laid down the track for the loco motion

 

Soulja Boy was tellin em how to crank

I was very confused when they did the Harlem shake

Just watching them move made my undead body ache

Then FDR rolled up and did the leg that stank

 

They did the mash!

They did the human mash

The human mash!

It was a schoolyard smash

They did the mash!

It caught on in just a flash

The human mash!

They did the human mash

 

They filled the dungeon for all their dumb fun and I tried to dance too

But my creator said "creature you'll be dead, the mash is something you cannot do"

 

So I lowered my head and raised my frown and slunked back to my cold lonely slab

I wished I was dead or just back in the ground and shut my eyes all alone and sad

 

As far as I knew the crowd forever grew, adding to the human mash crew

What would you do if everyone you knew did the human mash too?